Our Success

“For me, the guided disclosure and polygraph (was most helpful). Without these two things, as difficult and challenging as they were, I do not see how our marriage would survive. As I consider my new triggers/trauma, if there is no other alternative to addressing the trigger, I know there is another polygraph coming up and he knows he can't be deceptive! It really felt like a private workshop specifically tailored to our needs as a couple along with one-on-one discussions to speak specifically to my needs, answer questions and allay fears. It was, well, very intense. It was exactly what I hoped it would be for both of us, especially me. To hear you speak the truth to my husband, get the truth out of my husband, and answer my questions and assist with the traumas associated was invaluable. For me, it was a renewal of spirit, getting back on track with real and healthy living. No matter what happens. The entire experience was one I really appreciated, from the well-developed recovery plan and exercises for marriage renewal, the one-on-ones I received throughout the 3 days, and the personal recommendations for growth received."

TM, Healing Partner

"What was most helpful for me was opening the door on complete honesty around my entire history on sex from an early age. It has given me an opportunity to feel a new freedom that I never considered was possible. It's brought a greater perspective on my recovery and brings a new sense of partnering with [my wife] that's unique and very special. I can now understand why it's called hope and 'freedom'. I have for the first time in my life begun to understand what 'freedom' means. Recovery has all been about me and your programme really got to the heart of the issues that [my wife] is dealing with in trauma about my past behaviour and secrets. I found the whole experience very tiring and challenging but key was your work in restoring us to a higher level of intimacy that I did not imagine was possible. It feels like our relationship is like starting over. I also feel the whole experience was extremely professionally handled by you and in summary feel there is now a real purpose to the word ‘us.’"

HG, Recovering Addict

"It was the most emotionally exhausting but positive experience I've ever been through. At times I cried, I was angry, I was happy, and in the end I left with a ray of hope that I did not come in with. Leaving the office I knew we had a great plan for recovery. Also, that our marriage has hope now that there is complete honesty. It's a little overwhelming in a good way ... I'm looking forward to a positive future with healing for me and recovery for my husband. [Hope & Freedom] knows what they are doing in the realm of this horrible addiction. Thank you so much for being a "tool" for freedom from sex addiction. [My husband] is already saying that he wishes he'd come to see you 7 years ago when I first discovered him acting out. You have a life giving program. I thank God for your willingness to help men and marriages escape from this hell. I also am thankful for your healing tools. I'm feeling so much better just from the simple things like journaling. It's not that I didn't know about journaling before. But when you required that I do it after a difficult time or any other time I was just sitting there I actually took advantage of the time by writing down what was going on for me. I know you're not surprised, but I found that it really helped. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

DC, Healing Partner

"I don't think we could've done anything better with anyone any better! We desperately needed every minute and molecule of your time and input! Our expectations were overwhelmingly outdistanced by the effect and impact of the intensive. Neither of us felt it easy, but the "intensive" format was so preferred to a marathon weekly meeting vibe. It is good to get in, get deep and get going toward recovery. We both were strengthened and blessed by the individual therapy sessions. They were rich and provided a safety and clarity we had never experienced, in dredging through the difficult place of life we are in. We cannot speak highly enough about the intensive format ... We have a long way to go, but knowing we've begun the journey with you gives us a confidence and hope we wouldn't have otherwise."

RD, Restored Couple

"It has been 15 months since our Three-Day Intensive. It was the beginning of my sobriety and healing between my wife and I. It was life changing and an incredible value. Priceless. Our relationship now is a lot better. We are slowly healing and gaining trust. I’ve been sober but I still have a lot of work to do in gaining back the trust of my wife. Our baby boy has added a lot of value and love."

GB, Recovering Addict 

“It has been 3 years since the 3 day intensive that [my husband] and I went through with you. The experience was hell but also life changing. Through what [my partner] revealed I was not only able to become closer with him but also to recognize characteristics of SA in my father and other family members. That has been both eye opening and healing. The 3 days were full of intense emotions of anger, sadness, frustration, loneliness, disgust, and hate. There were also emotions running alongside all the negative ones of compassion, admiration, and love. Coming face to face with the one you love's demons is overwhelming and humbling. At times I wanted to walk out and not return but having the videos and books to read that were from the lives of others (real people) helped me to embrace the process and not only try to understand SA at some level but to allow forgiveness and healing for both [my husband] and myself. My biggest take away was Grace! A new level of seeing and experiencing God’s grace. Learning that His grace is not only for us to receive but to give to those we love and with God's grace healing and renewing are possible. The aftercare program is invaluable; the need for it after the intensive is a must. The tools required to remain clean and free from this terrible addiction are as important as the intensive itself. The struggles don't stop once you leave the 3 day intensive; they are still there and maybe have a greater awareness in the life of the SA and most assuredly they do in the life of the spouse or partner. Being able to continue to build on your strengths and knowledge of this addiction together is critical. Being aware of each other's suffering and working through it together is key. But most important I believe it's the accountability it offers and demands that allow freedom from this addiction. This addiction does not just go away and it requires incorporating the tools into your daily life forever. The aftercare program provides those tools. [My fianceé] and I are now engaged and will be married in January. We are happy and have a healthy relationship. There are no skeletons in our closets; that is a feeling that not many married or engaged couples have. We are blessed and we know it. We are thankful and are being given a second chance at love and life. Grace! I would recommend this program to anyone suffering from SA. It works but requires work, it gives and requires that you give back! Thank you."

BJ, Healing Partner

"I would highly recommend this intensive to couples struggling with sexual addiction. The level of expertise and professionalism combined with the genuine care and compassion that [Hope & Freedom] provided was life changing. In 13 years of marriage we have never felt so free and so emotionally close as we do after the intensive. There are no more secrets, no more lies and now we can truly begin to rebuild trust and respect as we walk through recovery together. Don't be afraid to take the step to deal with the addiction in your marriage, you are dealing with it now (just in a very unhealthy way that is hurting you both and destroying your marriage) but you can deal with it in a productive and healthy way with the tools you will be provided at the intensive. We are so glad we made the investment in our marriage!  It allowed us to reach a level of honesty we have never had in 13 years of marriage. For the first time, I feel there are truly no secrets that my husband is keeping from me and that is a powerful thing. Our level of emotional intimacy is so much deeper than it has ever been. He has been able to share things with me (totally unrelated to his addiction) that he never felt safe in sharing with me before. Although some of the intensive was obviously very painful, I would do it again. I feel optimistic about our future for the first time in a very long time. 

The most helpful parts of the intensive were:

1. The Polygraph. It helped put a lot of fears to rest even though there were other things that surprised me. The power of complete disclosure helped me feel sane again. It also created a very deep emotional intimacy for us that went even beyond the addiction. 
2. Your reassurance that I did not cause this and that I was not crazy for feeling the things that I did. I used to question whether I was overreacting or irrational or paranoid, now I don't. 
3. Having [a woman] come and pick me up for the ISA meeting. I probably wouldn't have gone if she hadn't. It was such an act of kindness and the experience helped me feel so much less alone.
4. [An exercise] revealed to me a side of [my husband] I had not seen in a long time and made me realize he had a great deal of pain over this addiction as well. 
5. Clear, direct assignments. I appreciated the clear instructions and challenging assignments.

SS, Healing Partner

"Wow ... how do you describe such a life changing experience? It was like going to a theme park that was definitely not Disney World. There were the nerves of anticipating riding the roller coaster, being on the ride and being petrified during the event. Then the rush of the ride, knowing the truth and being validated by the truth. Then the sheer exhaustion of spending a day doing things that challenged and stretched you way out of your comfort zone. I was very pleased with the Intensive, it was very well organized, I knew what to expect from the overview, felt well prepared from your website and the pre-intensive homework. Would recommend it to anyone struggling with this addiction. Thank you for giving me hope for my marriage.

(Same person three years later)

I just wanted to say thanks for your ministry. It's been over three years since [my husband] and I were there for our intensive. It's not been easy but we are still together fighting this ugly battle together. We have faced lots of joys and sorrows since our time with you but we are persevering. It is by the grace of God and your interventions with us that has saved our family. Our adult son and his wife came to us this year, he too suffers from sexual addiction. Although saddened that he has to fight this battle we felt so blessed that he could come and share with us. We pointed him to your materials and got them in local counseling and they too are surviving right now. I just wanted to say thanks for your ministry. You definitely invested and put us on the right track. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, as we all celebrate new birth on a daily basis."

JO, Healing Partner

"The fact that we couldn't have any other distractions, like computers, TV, newspapers, cell phones etc. [was helpful]. I didn't realize how even though this issue has totally engulfed my life, I still had daily things to deal with and ways to distract myself from getting to the business of healing. Just being focused really helped me to begin to feel and get rid of some of the poison that was building up inside of me. I truly began to feel healthier! That and starting to journal. I had tried to do it in the past but it seemed overwhelming to me. However, you made it seem less daunting by giving us 3 questions to focus on. Journaling has become very therapeutic for me. You created a sense of safety in your office that was nice. I think hearing a man say that these things are wrong was good. It just felt like a safe place to be able to start to "get my bearings.” [The Intensive] was more than I anticipated it would be. It was a starting place for me. It was a safe place to begin to process so many things. I encompassed so many different feelings and emotions, and therefore, for me it was conducive to becoming healthier. Actually, as I write I feel overwhelmed with emotions of hope, even though I feel afraid because of the risk of hoping again. But the Intensive has, I guess, given me wings to just fly (try) and fall (fail) and take a deep breath and (SOAR) LIVE!! Sorry about that. :) Anyways, I would highly recommend this Intensive to anyone dealing with sexual addiction. It was jam packed with great things and I will be ever thankful that I was able to attend. I just want to thank you so much for letting God use you to help restore relationships!!! What a blessing you are, and have been to us!! God Bless you!! Hope your day is full of peace and joy." 

JR, Healing Partner

"This was life transforming for my marriage. I think that while we may not have had the level of severity in terms of our issues as some couples, I was at a point of feeling like we needed something dramatic to get us on track. Your program was certainly that! It was like rebooting a computer, scrubbing it and reinstalling the programs after being infected with a virus."

LG, Restored Couple

"Today is one year of sobriety for me. I wanted to send you a note to thank you for all you have done for [my wife] and I. I truly believe that attending your intensive was one of the most important and best things I have ever done in my life. It saved my life and my marriage. You gave me the tools and information that I could apply to my life to help me escape the bondage of this addiction. On this important day for me I want to personally thank you for all you have done for me and are doing for other men and couples. I know this is just a milestone on my journey. I know the race does not stop here but I am very proud of where I have come over the past year. Thank you for all of your help.”

RS, Recovering Addict

"As we approach the 4 year anniversary of our intensive, I just wanted to let you know how very grateful I am for that time with you. [My wife] and I are doing very well. I am sober and happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I love my [twelve-step] home group. I am currently sponsoring 2 men. I have had up to 3, which my sponsor and I agree, is my limit at this time. We are grandparents of a beautiful baby boy, now 6 months old. The fact that I am sober and present for this precious time is never taken for granted and is a very Sacred Gift. I don't know how many times I have told people that you were the first and only therapist who could keep me from hijacking the process with my story! And, I have never really disappeared down the rabbit hole of a shame spiral since: and that is another miracle." 

BV, Recovering Addict

"It was helpful for me to understand that my hurt and pain as the partner was allowed to be the focus. Even going into the session, I still felt like my husband needed the focus to be on him and what drove him to his addiction, and there was a shift in my mentality that it was okay and even necessary for my feelings to take precedence and for me to have permission to get all the answers I wanted. The polygraph and the detail you provided me about the polygraph process was also very helpful. You anticipated all of the outcomes and I appreciate you helping to prepare me for the full disclosure. It's also helpful when you share experiences from your previous sessions - it helps to know there are others who have survived this. It was also very helpful for you to give me your opinion on my husband and if he would do well in recovery if he commits to it based on all of your experience. I doubt everything including my own judgment right now, so hearing your opinion is immensely helpful. The intensive was hard. I kept waiting to feel hopeful or less angry, but then realized that I should be angry and allow myself to feel exactly what I was feeling. There is no quick fix. It was no longer about why my husband did the things he did or how he felt. I left feeling hopeful. I felt like we were given all of the tools and plans to succeed in recovery (both our independent recoveries and as a couple). You are truly an expert in this area and your process/program is exactly what we needed. Thank you. You have really perfected your program and I can tell that you customize it for each person/couple and I didn't feel like it was a one-size-fits all model. I felt like you heard ME and gave ME assignments versus giving me what you give everyone. I'm very thankful that I found you and will be forever grateful for having had you in our lives."

DW, Healing Partner