S-SC, Texas

... to process it.  Having to pick emotions was a great thing for me. It forced me to be in touch with who I was. At first I was angry at you for not letting the polygraph happen right after the disclosure, but now I am happy that it gave [my husband] a chance to be honest with me and really think through what he had done. I loved the aftercare tools we were given and being able to practice them. That was very great.  As I said when I was leaving the Three-Day Intensive it was the "Best/worst pretend vacation" I have ever been on. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was left feeling raw which is what I needed. I needed something that was going to strip everything away from me so I would have to force that my spouse is an addict and that I have to recover and not self-medicate. An intensive is not for the faint of heart or someone who wants to band aid their recovery like I had done for so many years. For me the intensive was like the time I was having knee problems. I was having trouble running because I kept getting shooting pains. I did not want to go to the doctor because I was too afraid they would tell me I would not be able to run again ... Eventually after I could not take the pain anymore I went to the doctor only to find out that I had made my knee worst by running on it ... To me this intensive was like going to the doctor. I finally had to face the truth my husband was in serious trouble and so was our marriage. I had avoided therapy and getting help for so long because I was afraid with facing the issues. I was afraid I would be told our marriage may never work again or I would not be able to recover. However instead I learned in the intensive that my marriage can work again, I can recover and was given tools to be able to recover.  Thank you again for your calling to helping couples. After 8 years of marriage and 2 years of dating I did not think anything or anyone could help break [my husband] away from his addictive behavior. I did not think I would take away as much as I did. I very much had a know it all attitude going in because I had been to counseling before with previous family issues and 12 step meetings so I thought I had it all figured out. What I discovered was I had lost myself within my husband’s addiction.  Not only was this a time where I felt [my husband] had broken free from his lies, I realized I was finally free myself. I wrote in my letter to [my husband] that he was finally free from his lies. That he could now enjoy the sunshine, our kid’s laughter together, our love. Thank you for helping me get true freedom back in life."
SC, Texas
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