s-VV, Pennsylvania-2

... and grief of the spouse and also the toll the addiction had taken on our relationship. At no time did I feel judged or held responsible for any of the sexual acting out of my husband.  
From the very start of the first day, it was clear that he expected my husband to be responsible for the pain I was experiencing. He managed each of the sessions so that I was not manipulated, blamed or scapegoated. I felt safe from the moment I entered the office.  While disclosure was very difficult and also traumatic, the truth has been a blessing of sorts. I thought that I could just let go of what I didn't know. I didn't understand the damage it was causing to me. While the truth is difficult - I believe I have a right to know about the truth of our relationship. The secrets were destroying me, our marriage and my husband. The disclosure was key to ending his compartmentalization and secret life.

It is 16 months after our [Intensive]. We have just completed our second aftercare. My triggers are much more manageable. I have more trust each time my husband passes another lie detector test. It helps me have confidence in my own observations of his recovery work. I have tended to be too trusting. Knowing the tests confirm my experience is so helpful. I am proud of us as a couple. We are doing well and are feeling closer than ever before. I am proud of his recovery and courage. I am proud of my courage. I want us to change the legacy we leave our children. We want to show them that life does not have to be lived in active addiction of any kind. We are doing well."
VV, Pennsylvania
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