SS, Georgia
There are no more secrets, no more lies and now we can truly begin to rebuild trust and respect as we walk through recovery together. Don't be afraid to take the step to deal with the addiction in your marriage, you are dealing with it now (just in a very unhealthy way that is hurting you both and destroying your marriage) but you can deal with it in a productive and healthy way with the tools you will be provided at the intensive. We are so glad we made the investment in our marriage! It allowed us to reach a level of honesty we have never had in 13 years of marriage. For the first time, I feel there are truly no secrets that my husband is keeping from me and that is a powerful thing. Our level of emotional intimacy is so much deeper than it has ever been. He has been able to share things with me (totally unrelated to his addiction) that he never felt safe in sharing with me before. Although some of the intensive was obviously very painful, I would do it again. I feel optimistic about our future for the first time in a very long time. The most helpful parts of the intensive were:
1. The Polygraph. It helped put a lot of fears to rest even though there were other things that surprised me. The power of complete disclosure helped me feel sane again. It also created a very deep emotional intimacy for us that went even beyond the addiction.
2. Your reassurance that I did not cause this and that I was not crazy for feeling the things that I did. I used to question whether I was overreacting or irrational or paranoid, now I don't.
3. Having [a woman] come and pick me up for the ISA meeting. I probably wouldn't have gone if she hadn't. It was such an act of kindness and the experience helped me feel so much less alone.
4. [An exercise] revealed to me a side of [my husband] I had not seen in a long time and made me realize he had a great deal of pain over this addiction as well.
5. Clear, direct assignments. I appreciated the clear instructions and challenging assignments.
SS, Georgia