Unsuccessful Cures of Sex Addiction

There are many ways people can overcome the challenges of sex addiction in their lives, but there are also many ways that don’t work.

In this article, our founder, Dr. Milton Magness, shares many of the unsuccessful strategies he’s seen and heard from individuals who have struggled with compulsive sexual behavior over the years.

I often hear people say that they have finally figured out what they needed to do to get freedom from their sex addiction.

They might say, “I promised God I wouldn’t act out any more.”

When I ask, “Have you done that in the past?” they often say, “Yes.”

“So how has that worked so far?” I ask.

Now, don’t hear me wrong. I am a Christian who believes strongly in the ability and power of God. At the same time, it has been my experience that God often uses therapists, 12-step groups, and other recovering people to help guide people out of their addiction.

Sometimes when we ask God to save us from the flood, we completely miss the boat of people he sends waiting for his help.

Many people who struggle with sex addiction have believed the lie that the reason they act out is because they haven’t prayed right, believed right, or worshiped right, or that they have some other deficiency in their religious life.

But the reason acting out behavior continues isn’t because of any of those reasons. Acting out continues because they are addicted!

Promises to God, to partner, and to self are ineffective in curbing compulsive sexual behavior.

Proclamations like “I’m going to read my Bible more often,” “I’m going to participate in more religious activities,” or “I’m going to pray more” are all well and good if they are also undertaken with other recovery activities.

Maybe if a person changes their location, they can change their behavior?

“I am going to move to another city where there is less opportunity to act out. I know where all the acting out places are in this city.”

Another man said, “If I could just move to the moon, I could control my acting out.”

Another variation on this idea is, “I am going to get a different job. I won’t be able to stop acting out until I get away from the opportunities to act out that are part of my current job.”

The source of these challenges knows no particular address.

I have heard people say, “If only I could find a drug that would lower my sex drive.” Others have sought out physicians to give them something that would cure their compulsive sexual behavior. While some prescription drugs, particularly antidepressants, lower sex drive, none of them eliminate sex addiction.

Some people believe that if they just hang on long enough, they will outgrow their addiction.

I know a number of people well past 70 who will tell you that their addiction is still present, even if it is under control because of their work in recovery.

If marriage didn’t work to cure sex addiction in the first place, getting out of the marriage isn’t going to work either. Sometimes, individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behavior disorder think that if they just had a new partner, that would solve everything.

The problem, again, is not the person. It is addiction.

Worrying about it, indulging in self-pity, and creating a rigid rule system also won’t solve the challenges people face with sex addiction.

So, what does work?

It might feel discouraging to hear all of the ways our attempts to cure sex addiction fail, but don’t lose heart. Addictions can be managed and can be overcome!

Hope & Freedom offers several resources for individuals who are suffering from compulsive sexual behavior disorder, including our 3-Day Intensives, which are designed to give you a strong foundation and accelerated pathway toward recovery.